Austin's farewell speech

lots of people have been asking for this, here's the speech I gave at Austin's Farewell party:

When I first met Austin I thought- “who does this guy think he is?” but after minutes, hours, of talking with him about himself I realized “oh he thinks he’s PERFECT”….and not just HIM but everything he did was perfect. Rock climbing. Pictionary. Kissing girls in the same location. Writing. Grammar. I have yet to find something that Austin isn’t perfectly good at, probably cause if I did he wouldn’t do it.

Well Austin I think you’ll be perfect competition for Casey Lewis in New York.

Match dot com. Cycle #8

They're too good of friends? Well best friends make the best enemies and worst enemies make the best lovers.

Laura Reese + Brandon Stone


She's great. Adorable. She's got a lot going on (i.e. She has her own place now, very adult. She owns all of her own furniture, very financially fit). She's got the fashion sense of a J crew model, seriously she looks great in white pants. Wonderful laugh and wonderful party planning skills.

Brandon stone... what can be said. He's a man's man, but yet a ladies man. He owns every season of every teen drama. You say Seth Cohan, he says "California, California here we come." You say Tim Riggins, he'll say "Texas forever." He loves bikes, beards, babes, bands, beats, and the Jazz. He's a very good human and a wonderful friend. His motto, "IF YOU'RE NOT LOUD, YOU'RE BORING!"

Why it will work: Both studied advertising. Both live(d) on 1300 E. She wants to buy season Jazz tickets and he wants to go with her to all those games and buy her hot dogs and get the Jazz bear (Carter Nelson) to give her balls and high fives. She has a subscription to Us Weekly, and he has a subscription to all celebrity gossip. She loves sleep (at least 8 hours), he loves falling asleep with a girl in his arms. She's a dream and he loves dreaming. And he has a queen size bed, so.....

Terms and conditions
This was constructed under the influence of late night ice cream eating. If any of the above individuals are dating someone, I was not aware of this status and will be willing to re-sign you to your current co-partner(s). These matches do not incorporate proximity of individuals but do incorporate a high likelihood of eternal love. If marriage does occur due to this blog post I retain all rights to wedding music and wedding planner (b.e.a.n.s. will be used). If one of the partners acts upon said match I will be willing to reimburse first date cost up to 20.00 human dollars. If you are not listed in the above post, do not be offended, this is due to one of the following reasons: you are not single (according to facebook), I'm waiting to find the prefect match for you, or you're a douche kite, oh yeah you are.

deadly combintation

While I was in line at the grocery store tonight, I looked down at the two items I was holding and suddenly felt embarrassed- nay, profiled, categorized (not racial but still with just as much stereotyping). I became hyper-aware of my surroundings, I glanced back and forth from follow customers in the self check out line hoping no one pay any mind to me. I tried to act causal. Alas, my wish went ungranted. The guy next to me looked over and I could read his judgmental thoughts so clearly, "26-35, not married, living alone, suffering from seasonal depression." The combination of these 2 items had such power as to throw me in a social status undesired by the majority of women in the US .

As I put the ice cream and cat food in a plastic bag I just kept thinking, "I'm that girl."